Game Review #172: Captain StarONE (Nintendo Switch)
Reviewer: Bradford “TheWaffinator87” Ekstrom
Publisher: Flyhigh Works
Category: Action, Simulation, Role-Playing
Release Date: 2.7.2019
Price (at time of review): $9.99
Buy Captain StarONE on the Nintendo eShop here.
You ever play a game where grinding really helped you play with a little more ease? Games like WoW (World of Warcraft), Destiny, Final Fantasy, RuneScape, etc., I remember even grinding the heck out of Pokemon Blue on the Game Boy. I would grind so much that I would go through at least two sets of batteries before attempting any gym battles, like Brock for example, and he was the first gym leader. Or even Final Fantasy VII, I would grind so much I remember beating the final Sephiroth without breaking a sweat. For those of you that don’t know what “grinding” is when it comes to video game terms, let me help you out real quick: grinding, as referred to by us gamers, is when you exploit an easier part of a game and repeat the same task repeatedly, trying to get good “loot” (prizes) or just level up a lot by getting all that easy XP (experience points). Now, imagine how nice it would be if you could grind without having to do any of the dirty work. That’s where Flyhigh Works has your back with Captain StarONE.
Captain StarONE is an outer space simulation and action game. Even right now, as I gather what I want to write about this game and get some final thoughts down on paper for you all to read, the game is playing and I am not doing a single thing! I told the Captain and my crew what I want, and they are doing the dirty work for me. I am literally sitting here and typing, and watching endless parades of aliens fall victim to Captain Star and his crew members. Even the tougher “boss battles” are no match for us! I mean, once in a while I am picking up the controller to adjust some settings and pull off some combos, but that is literally all I am doing. This game is easy grinding at its finest.
Look Ma No Hands
Literally look, I am playing with no hands! I mean, you can’t look because that would make you creepy for spying in on me—unless we were friends and you were over at my place while I played, so that wouldn’t make you creepy, but still—I wish I could show you what I mean. Anyway, I even cooked diner the other night while the Captain and his crew blasted through hordes of aliens and gathered the loot for me. There are hardly any controls for the game. You have your basic A for confirm or action, or L to bring up your menu. The Menu is where you can choose your Captain and level him up, making his attacks and the spaceship stronger, or Crew to level up your crew members and their attacks, or you can even use Capsules. Capsules are pretty much pills that you take to give you perks, like faster attacks or stronger attacks, or more collection of minerals for set periods of time, like 10 mins up to 60 minutes!
Other controls you have are Y to pull up your spaceship so you can use the spaceship perks or attacks you might have unlocked, the D-Pad to use crew member combo attacks, and X for bashing out major combos when you trigger what is pretty much the ultimate attack. Now if only I could simulate commands to have this review type itself, we could really be making progress!
The cartoony layout of the game is kind of appealing; in fact, I would have to say that’s the thing I admired about it. The cartoonish feel to it almost has that cartoony look of the Saturday morning cartoons I would watch as a kid. I feel like the grinding concept was really at work when this game was developed. I say this because the aliens you fight are the same ones over and over again, and the only thing that seems to change is the background or “worlds” every 5 or so levels—and even those repeat after a while as well. I feel like I have watched and listened to this game so much that I can play it in my head without missing a single beat.
The sound effects were fun and cute—at first. Now I have listened to this so much that I feel like subliminal verses are being imprinted in my brain to go kill aliens and join some alien hunting task force.
The background music is maybe all of a whole 15 seconds long, and on a never-ending loop. You have maybe 5-10 sound effects that repeat over and over again. I would not recommend sitting and playing this for long periods of time or it will drive you mad. Blast, blast, blast, blast, blast, blast, blast, blast, blast, alien dying, minerals being collected, new alien spawning, blast, blast, blast, blast…. Wait, don’t forget the random UFO sounds as a random UFO appears for you to try and capture before it goes away. There you have it boys and girls: the sound effects of the game. I should be a composer. I bet I could do this!
Not Made for Sitting and Playing
I feel like this game could have been so much better. This game seems like it could have been so much more. What I mean by that is, at least once in a while, have an alien attack back and make you use health or at least move out of the way. Have them once in a while kill off a crew member and make it so you must revive them. It is so basic and grinding that even my 6-year-old child, who loves all games like me, walks away as soon as I tell him that we are playing this. My two-year-old lasts longer watching it, and that’s maybe five minutes tops if I’m lucky.
This game is literally just to give a few commands, go do something else, and once in a while pick it up to upgrade the Captain and his Crew to make sure their attack strengths match the aliens’ defense. If you want a game that you can just pick up and have the work done for you while you go mow the lawn, or take a shower, or even cook the family a lovely meal, or a microwavable dinner-for-one—whatever floats your boat—this game is perfect. If you want a game to sit and play the whole afternoon or night away, do not, I repeat, do not choose this game. It will drive you insane watching and listening to the same stuff over and over. I almost want to make a new YouTube challenge video “How long can you last playing Captain StarONE without going insane?”
They say the definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over and expecting different results. Well, Captain StarONE is the new definition of insanity.
The only reason I am going to give it the score I am about to give is because the originality of the concept and the somewhat appealing visuals. Like I said, great concept, but could have been so much more. Other than that, this is not a game I look forward to keeping in my lineup of casual Switch playing games.
Buy Captain StarONE on the Nintendo eShop here.
Follow Flyhigh Works
*Review Code Provided by Cir-Ent